Solving the Food Crisis

Maybe we should start looking at harvesting up leftovers from animals? They throw away food too, and we could always find nutrients from that. Ok, where am I going with this? First, you may have heard about the civet cat. This is the cat that eats coffee cherries, and people gather its excrements to produce coffee beans that costs over $100 a pound. Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world.

Now, there is a new type of coffee called the India Devon estate 795 Arabica. How are the beans harvested, you may ask? Well the short story is that monkeys pick the ripest coffee cherries off the tree and spit out the beans. Gold Jerry! We just pick up all the spitted out beans and sell it off as hand selected premium coffee beans. For those interested in tasting some of this fine primate reserve coffee, head over to 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters.

Food Inventions

Sporks, apple jar with spoon, pig cooking lid are a few of the items currently displayed at the Destination Japan collection at MOMA.

The spork was designed to eliminate waste with disposible chopsticks.

The apple jar with spoon has a spoon right in the core of the jar.

The pig cooking lid releases steam through the snot.

What are we teaching our kids?

My Beautiful Mommy is a book that teaches kids about Mommy's new plastic surgery. Imagine the pitch at Pendant? So today's mommy is superficial and wants some plastic surgery. Now they are going to buy this book to explain Mommy's new parts.

If that isn't enough, how about How to Traumatize Your Children? This book from the Self-Hurt series includes advice on everything from narcissistic parenting to how to enjoy the legacy of trauma. Any new parents out there looking to be a part of their child's colorful memoires?

Cinco de Mayo

The origins of Cinco de Mayo goes back to the Battle of Peubla, about 150 years ago. The French attacked two Mexican forts, but the Mexican army came out victorious. Some would call Cinco de Mayo, Mexico's Independence Day, but that is not the case. Mexico's Indepence Day is on September 16. How Cinco de Mayo translates to loading up on tequilla and passing out at Senor Frogs, I don't know.

Open Letter to Skytrain Passengers

Skytrain commuters of the lower mainland, I implore you. As we head into the summer months, we must be vigilant and be mindful of our personal hygiene. Sure some of us run late. And there are some of us who prefer an evening shower to its morning counterpart. But if, if you detect the faintest, yes even the faintest emanation of body odour, please, take that 5 minutes and have a shower.

On our beloved train, we stand face to face and dare I admit at times groin to butt. Add in the gentle swaying of the train and there's some real intimacy there. The likes of which, well I can only wish to know outside of the Expo and Millennium Lines. So the next time you roll out of bed late or you're setting your alarm the night before, build in that shower time. It's for the greater good of man. Thank you in advance.

Gently Swaying, Kramer

Endless Drama

There is no need to watch the Young and the Restless when there is Endless Drama.

Facebook in Reality

If this was in real life, there would be a lot more restraining orders.