Civilized Approaches to Eating

Eating a chocolate bar with a knife and fork:



How about eating popcorn with chopsticks:

Joke of the Week

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favourite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say "yes", but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early, at 6:30 am. He figured the early tee-time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem, and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said this would be okay.

She smiled, and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed!

Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45." The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed.

They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbour a burning desire to beat her!
In the third week they all had their game faces on... But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life, to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally, she showed up.
This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play; it was hard to hold a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple of beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally, one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"
The lady blushed, and grinned. She said, "That's easy when my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude.

From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.
All the guys on the team thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it pointed straight up in the air?" She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late..."

Friday Fun

Another physics game

Splitter

Men's Underwear Repair Kit

Tired of flipping around your underwear cause all of your other pieces have holes, broken elastic, etc? You don't have to, now that you can get the Men's Underwear Repair Kit.

Inventions

What do popsicles, microwaves, ice cream cones, champagne, brandy, post-its, potato chips, penicillin, pacemakers, and super glue have in common? They are all inventions invented by accident.

Accidental Inventions

Super Tuesday

Today is the day!

Presidential Dance Off



Barack Obama Eats Babies

Joke of the Week

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.

She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7am."Signed, "The Blonde."

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag with the cash was the following note: "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."