Ripped Homeless Man

I used to be in fairly decent shape and by decent shape I mean there was very little spillage when I put on my 501’s. These days what I long for more than a chocolate éclair, is to be able to recapture the metabolism and athleticism of my youth. Not that I’m old by any stretch of the imagination but fatherhood and age have ravaged my once toned body beyond recognition. Father time has definitely not been kind to me. The current weekly regiment of old timer’s ball hockey and occasional gym visit seem to do little to stop the morphing of my body into a physique worthy of George Costanza. You can imagine my dismay when I happen upon a shirtless binner with the abs of Antonio Sabato Jr and the chest of Adonis. And to add further insult to injury, he had a George Hamiltonesque tan. How does a homeless person find time to work out regularly and fit in some fake n bake to boot? I suppose pushing a shopping cart full of aluminum pop cans might have sometime to do with it. Had I known that all I had to do to keep in shape was to push around a shopping cart, I would have added that to my regiment years ago. I suppose I can take solace in the fact that even though he was ripped, at least he wasn’t handsome