Friday, May 30, 2008

Who are you in Sex and the City

Flavor Tripping Parties

A West African berry rewires people's taste buds, turning sour flavors sweet.

CARRIE DASHOW dropped a large dollop of lemon sorbet into a glass of Guinness, stirred, drank and proclaimed that it tasted like a “chocolate shake.”

A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue

Friday Fun

To move your spider, click on the web where you want him to go. To make your spider spin a strand of web, drag your mouse between two existing web strands. Click on the insects that get caught in your web to eat them. This will earn you points, add to your spider’s web supply, and keep your life meter up. If the spider’s life meter reaches zero, he dies and the game is over.

Arachnophilia

Thursday, May 29, 2008

How to tap a watermelon


It is getting close to summer, so this interesting tidbit would be good to know.


Coffee Wallpaper

Here is a nice wallpaper of espressos from 10 Vancouver coffee shops. Brought to you by the baristas of cleanhotdry.com.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Chemistry Exam A+

Sometimes, I wish I wrote an exam like this in high school. Brian Morel got 100/100 on this exam, and also had the time to add in comments like:

"This class makes me lose faith in humanity :("

"The chick in front of me is wearing a white lace Victoria's Secret T Thong"

Movie Riddle

What do the movies Superman II, Officespace and Entrapment have in common?

They are all movies that have a scam to skim off tiny amounts of money from bank accounts to accumulate into one account, resulting in millions of dollars. It sessm that some guy tried to pull off something like that.

"A California man has been indicted for an inventive scheme that allegedly siphoned $50,000 from online brokerage houses E-trade and Schwab.com in six months -- a few pennies at a time."

Man Allegedly Bilks E-trade, Schwab of $50,000 by Collecting Lots of Free 'Micro-Deposits'

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

8 types of people you will find in Starbucks

These are some of the reasons why I do not go to Starbucks. Posers, interns ordering 20 coffees making the wait in line longer, hyper-active greeters, and the worst, the guy who makes the most complicated coffee order.

8 Types Of Annoying People You’ll Find Inside Starbucks

Also, if you ever order a cappuccino from Starbucks, order a short cappuccino. It is a stronger cappuccino that is not watered down like the regular cappuccino.

Cellphone in Microwave

Cellphones are evil!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Joke of the Week

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"


She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.


Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."


To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN $200?"

Friday, May 23, 2008

Happy National Burger Month

Rocketboom's Joanne and Andy Warhol eating a burger:

Friday Fun

Try your skills at balancing the US budget:

Budget Hero

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Bacon Tuxedo

When I wanted to wear this tuxedo for my wedding, I was vetoed immediately. I could not understand why. It was under budget, very stylish, and you will smell like bacon all day. What more can you ask?


The Bacon Tux

Chocolate shaped like....um.... yeah.....

Here are some testimonials about these chocolates:

"They’re fab – I want to get my hands on some more!"

"The chocolates look incredibly realistic and they make a great gift."

"Brilliant.............. Will make someone a lovely christmas present !!!!!!!!!!!"

Can you guess what it is? Click here to find out.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Human Tailgating

It's bad enough that we have to endure people riding your bumper while you're going 120 clicks in the fast lane but going down an escalator? What have rush hour commuters turned into in an effort to shave 5 minutes off their daily commute? As I was going down the escalator in the left lane (aka the fast lane) of the escalator this morning, this young petite girl was right on my tail. For some reason, it was strangely similar to being tailgated by a Mazda Miata. As I hurdled down the stairs two at time, warm bialy in one hand, a cup of Dean and Deluca in the other, worlds were definetely colliding. I think tomorrow morning I'm just gonna move my Chevy Suburban ass over to the right.

La Lunch Bag

At the risk of sounding shallow and somewhat perverted, I will share with you one of my pet peeves. In the name of eco-friendliness, you don't see as many plastic bags used by the retailers anymore. Plastic bags are not entirely gone but just not as common. You see the paper bags being used now. Abercrombie, Banana Republic, Holt Renfrew, you know the bags with the string handles.

Well, I don't mind knowing that you shop at Holt or Abercrombie. An image may pop in my head of you in a suit or a hoodie. No big deal. What irks me are the La Senza bags. Sure when an attractive woman is carrying one, imagery is a good thing. I rather enjoy it (that's the pervy part). But when its a less than attractive woman carrying these bags, it's not pleasant imagery (that's the shallow part).

Yes, shop at La Senza. Carry your wares home, but it seems women love to re-use the La Senza bags to transport everyday items - their lunch, magazines or whatever. It just bothers me to, on more than a regular basis, have images of unattractive women in various states of undress.

I'm not saying I'm an attractive man but I don't think women would want me to advertise my fruit of the looms either.

These Two Dudes Have Mastered Their Katra

Kramer's got nothing on these guys!

"You follow your katra, and you can do anything." - Cosmo Kramer

Sweden and McDonald's and IKEA

I recently came across several postings with a Swedish theme today. The first one is a series of weird Swedish McDonald's commercials.



The second is an itinerary on catching the IKEA ferry in New York to the new IKEA in Red Hook, Brooklyn and finding a local taco stand.

Ikea Hack

When you love your computer too much

Kama sutra poses for IT People:

Joke of the Week

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break... do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet - ate the cookies... drank the milk... shit on the paper... screwed the other three cats... claimed he injured his back while doing so... filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions... put in for Workers Compensation... and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!

Monday, May 19, 2008

KFC Original Recipe

So I'm chowing down on some KFC tonight and I wondered... What are the 11 herbs and spices in this chicken? Well here is the recipe:

1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp oregano
1 tbsp celery salt
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tbsp dry mustard
4 tbsp paprika
2 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp ground ginger
3 tbsp MSG (Accent)

Okay, salt, thyme, basil... WAIT... WTF??? When has MSG become an herb or spice????

So if I go to a Chinese restaurant, MSG is an herb or spice? That would change things completely. If you ever look at a North American menu, you'd find things like Grilled Rosemary Lamb Chops, or Butter-Dill Poached Salmon. How about at a Chinese restaurant with this new found spice... Monosodium Glutamate Herbed Spareribs, MSG-Infused Shrimp Dumplings or Egg Drop Soup with Essence of MSG?

This is pathetic.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday Fun - Dino Run

We're going to start off a regular feature on Fridays called Friday Fun, where we'll find some games that will help pass the time away on this last day of the work week. This week, an 8-bit multiplayer game called Dino Run.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers

A 13 year old kid got an extra credit card without his dad knowing and went on a spending spree buying up an XBox and ordering up a couple of hookers. His explanations to adults questioning where he got all this money are just ingenious.

"Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead."

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers

The last line of this article is priceless!

Topless Asian Carwash

The ACME Corporation

What is this Acme Corporation? It must be the biggest company in the world, since it produces products like anvils, invisible paint, trick bones, and much more. Check out its catalog:

The Original Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

ACME looks to be a huge competitor for Kramerica and Vandelay Industries.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

1967 vs 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his own car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with A. D. D. and given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.
1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

And people wonder why this country is such a mess.

Monday, May 12, 2008

We are the world - Japanese Style

A group of Japanese impersonators doing a remake of "We are the World"



It is true that we can make a better day, just rue and me.

Friday, May 9, 2008

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

Esquire lists off 75 things that every man should master:

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Penis Drawings

In Superbad, Seth was infactuated with penis drawings. Mauricio Ricardo does it by hiding the penis within his drawings:




You can try it yourself with the new game called Penis Camouflage:

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Solving the Food Crisis

Maybe we should start looking at harvesting up leftovers from animals? They throw away food too, and we could always find nutrients from that. Ok, where am I going with this? First, you may have heard about the civet cat. This is the cat that eats coffee cherries, and people gather its excrements to produce coffee beans that costs over $100 a pound. Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world.

Now, there is a new type of coffee called the India Devon estate 795 Arabica. How are the beans harvested, you may ask? Well the short story is that monkeys pick the ripest coffee cherries off the tree and spit out the beans. Gold Jerry! We just pick up all the spitted out beans and sell it off as hand selected premium coffee beans. For those interested in tasting some of this fine primate reserve coffee, head over to 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters.

Food Inventions



Sporks, apple jar with spoon, pig cooking lid are a few of the items currently displayed at the Destination Japan collection at MOMA.




The spork was designed to eliminate waste with disposible chopsticks.





The apple jar with spoon has a spoon right in the core of the jar.

The pig cooking lid releases steam through the snot.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What are we teaching our kids?

My Beautiful Mommy is a book that teaches kids about Mommy's new plastic surgery. Imagine the pitch at Pendant? So today's mommy is superficial and wants some plastic surgery. Now they are going to buy this book to explain Mommy's new parts.

If that isn't enough, how about How to Traumatize Your Children? This book from the Self-Hurt series includes advice on everything from narcissistic parenting to how to enjoy the legacy of trauma. Any new parents out there looking to be a part of their child's colorful memoires?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Cinco de Mayo

The origins of Cinco de Mayo goes back to the Battle of Peubla, about 150 years ago. The French attacked two Mexican forts, but the Mexican army came out victorious. Some would call Cinco de Mayo, Mexico's Independence Day, but that is not the case. Mexico's Indepence Day is on September 16. How Cinco de Mayo translates to loading up on tequilla and passing out at Senor Frogs, I don't know.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Open Letter to Skytrain Passengers

Skytrain commuters of the lower mainland, I implore you. As we head into the summer months, we must be vigilant and be mindful of our personal hygiene. Sure some of us run late. And there are some of us who prefer an evening shower to its morning counterpart. But if, if you detect the faintest, yes even the faintest emanation of body odour, please, take that 5 minutes and have a shower.

On our beloved train, we stand face to face and dare I admit at times groin to butt. Add in the gentle swaying of the train and there's some real intimacy there. The likes of which, well I can only wish to know outside of the Expo and Millennium Lines. So the next time you roll out of bed late or you're setting your alarm the night before, build in that shower time. It's for the greater good of man. Thank you in advance.

Gently Swaying, Kramer

Friday, May 2, 2008

Endless Drama

There is no need to watch the Young and the Restless when there is Endless Drama.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Facebook in Reality

If this was in real life, there would be a lot more restraining orders.