Monday, October 19, 2009

Mesothelioma

Mesothelioma, what is the deal with mesothelioma? It is a form of cancer caused by asbestos, and lawyers are bidding it to be the highest priced keyword.

Top Keyword Price Nears $100 Per Click

Kramer's Entrance

A collection of entrances by Kramer.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Bored Office Workers

Crappy Backstreet Boys Song? Check.
Web Cams on all laptops? Check.
Office workers with too much time on their hands? Check.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Legend of Ron Burgundy - Happy Birthday

If you remember on the Legend of Ron Burgundy, Ron Burgundy reads exactly everything on the teleprompter. These guys do exactly the same thing while reading out birthdays.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Friday Fun

This is not a game for Friday, but a hilarious read. Here are a few highlights:

8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Random Thoughts of People Our Age

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Honey, we're going on a vacation...

to Ikea!

Seems, like spending a day at IKEA is like going to a theme park in Beijing.

Beijing loves IKEA -- but not for shopping

Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday Fun

Point and click adventure game

Little Wheel

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Shake Weight

Enough said.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Fun

This is why you do not text and drive at the same time.

Driving Game

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Website Naming Disasters

When picking a URL for your website, be sure to look at it carefully for any double meanings. Take the case of Pens Island that used the URL that looks like penis land.net. For more visit the following link:

100 Website Naming Disasters

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday Fun

The object of this game is to remove all of the red blocks without moving the green ones.

Red Remover

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Ultimate Cutlery Item: The Splayd

What do you get when you merge a spoon with a knife with a fork:


Towards a Grand Unification of Cutlery

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Killer Accessories for you Guns

You are staking out a hit with your sniper rifle waiting for your target to get within sights. Oh wait, you feel a thirst coming on, and need to reach for that drink but can't take your eyes off from your scope. Well, fear not, there is a cup holder attachment for your sniper rifle.


From iPhone Apps to Beer Holders, Killer Accessories for Your Guns

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

40 Unfortunately Named Restaurants


I used to go to this place in Vancouver, but it is still no match for Pho Bich Nga.

40 Unfortunately Named Restaurants

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Cool Post It Animation

Got some extra Post-It's and lots of time?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday Fun

Little Wheel

Point and click adventure.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009

Friday Fun

Navigate yourself in this weird world:

Bio Bak

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Swine Flu

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Computer Tan

Get your free computer tanning today:

Computer Tan

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

99 Seinfeld Refernces

Look at the picture below and see if you can find all 99 references to Seinfeld.


99 Seinfeld References

Monday, March 30, 2009

More stupid food reviewers

Okay, what is wrong with these people??? Reading some more food reviews on the net has made me conclude there are indeed morons amongst us. Take this guy who provided a review about Salade de Fruits and complained about their fries. "They cut their own but don't bother sizing them. They should probably use McCain instead for more consistent size". WHAT THE F*CK?!?!? McCain Fries? Are you joking me? A French restaurant... Use McCain fries. Are you just plain dumb? It's like telling Tojo's to used canned tuna or telling Vij's to use prepared curry mix! Moron, you should dine where you belong... McDonald's. Read it for yourself here:

http://www.dinehere.ca/restaurant.asp?r=265

It's the 3rd review down... I'm still shaking my head....

Joke of the Week

A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again. The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- dollar machine wasn't making him any money. He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician.

Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible. The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw. The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong. The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company.

The technician answered, "$100,000.00".

The manager looked at him and said, "You were here less than two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemised bill."
T
he technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper:
-Turning of one screw: $1.00
-Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00

Friday, March 27, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Transforming your desk into a nap station

George Costanza had a great idea to make a small compartment under your desk to take a nap in. Here is another idea, converting your clothes into a pillow.



Monday, March 23, 2009

Joke of the Week

A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

Friday, March 20, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

March Madness

Get your pencils and your brackets ready, it is March Madness time! I picked Bacon to win the whole tournament this year. Huh? Yep, I got a Meat Madness bracket.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Joke of the Week

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?" The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.

That weekend the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool. They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket.

Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed. The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool. The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?" The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough however, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student started to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad.

The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations! You now understand the stimulus bill."

Friday, March 13, 2009

Monday, March 9, 2009

Joke of the Week

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

Henry got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now Henry Ford was not going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show: Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. So, now you know...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Seinfeld Reunion!

It looks like the entire Seinfeld cast will be making an appearance on Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall!

Exclusive: 'Seinfeld' cast to appear on 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'

Monday, March 2, 2009

Joke of the Week

A German Shepherd and a Rottweiler are sitting in neighbouring cages at the vets. The Shepherd looks over to the Rotty and says "So what are you in for?".

The Rotty says "My master left me in the house all day alone and I got a bit bored, so I chewed up all the furniture. Come that evening the kids got home from school, and, me being a Rottweiler, I ate them... so I'm in to get put down. What about you?"

The Shepherd says "Well sort of a similar thing happened to me really. I was also left by my master all day. My mistress came home from her aerobics class in the afternoon and jumped straight into the shower. When she came out she dropped her towel and bent over to pick it up, me being a German Shepherd and hung like a horse I mounted her and got stuck in."

The Rottweiler says "So you're in here to be put down too huh?" The Shepherd replies "No, I'm in here to get my nails clipped..."

Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Definite List

Greg Rutter's Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something.

Link

Monday, February 23, 2009

Joke of the Week

One night in the bar, the owner is lamenting the fact that business is so quiet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. As he moans to some of the regulars a stranger, dressed in a tweed jacket and wearing glasses wanders over and says, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I'm a doctor at the lunatic asylum up the road and I'm trying to integrate some of the more sane individuals into the community. Why don't I bring some of my patients along, say next Tuesday? You'll have some customers and my patients will have a night out."

Well, the publican isn't sure but the thought of more paying customers on a quiet night appeals, so he agrees.

The following Tuesday the guy in the tweed jacket and glasses shows up with about ten lunatics. He says to the publican, "They might try to pay for their drinks in unusual ways, please just accept whatever they give you, put it all on a tab and I'll settle up at closing time."

The barman has a great time selling loads of drinks and encouraging the loonies to eat chips and peanuts. The loonies have a great time, getting drunk and paying for their drinks with empty Coke cans, banana peels, used tea bags and plastic shopping bags.

At closing time the barman adds up the bill and it comes to just over two hundred dollars! The guy with the glasses and the tweed jacket starts to organize the loonies ready to take them back to the asylum. Finally he comes over and asks for the bill. The publican, feeling that he's charged them rather a lot and feeling he should do his bit to help these poor unfortunate people gives him a discount.
"Let's call it $150," he says. The guy in the tweed jacket smiles and says, "That's fine. Have you got change for a garbage can?"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Oddities in the Subway


Here are 71 pictures caught of people in the subway. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the homeless man who was making a sandwich at the back of a NYC train to show here.




Monday, February 16, 2009

Joke of the Week

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electricity went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time..."

Monday, February 9, 2009

Joke of the Week

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along!" the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us too."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high!!"

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bruce's Balls

In case you did not get enough of it from the Super Bowl halftime show last night, here are Bruce Springsteen's balls coming right into your face:





Courtesy of Tirico Suave.

Joke of the Week

As men age, we end up seeing more and more of the Medical establishment, which nowadays, has more and more women in it. For example, my family doctor recently referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Best Complaint Letter

Here's a complaint letter to Virgin Atlantic:

The best complaint letter ever?

If your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer

...Wack!

Now let's try this. If your ring finger is longer than your index finger, you are more likely to be successful.

Ring finger length linked to City stockbrokers' success, claim scientists

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Brushing Up on your MacGyver Skills

You broke the cork on your wine bottle, and now there are bits of cork in the wine. What to do? Pour the wine through a coffee filter. This and 80 other useful tidbits can be found here:

Extraordinary Uses for 16 Ordinary Household Items

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

69 Sexiest Rap Songs

Stick figures acting out explicit rap songs.



Monday, January 26, 2009

Joke of the Week

At 78 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 78 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action." Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it... Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more action.

And, once again they enjoy each other, but as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally."

Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?"

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Fun

Ice Breaker
Help the Vikings break each other out of ice blocks

Bastard Tetris
You will never get the piece you want.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bad restaurant reviews

Yes, that's right, I hate bad restaurant reviews. Of course I'm biased, because I review restaurants myself; but I can't stand people who review things and they have no clue what they are talking about. For instance, I am totally mystified by the individual who complained that the Shanghai buns at Shanghai Wonderful were "too juicy". TOO JUICY??? WTF??? That's the whole point of Shanghai buns. It's like saying that a burger is too "beefy" or a grilled cheese is too "cheesy". Pleeeeeease.... How about the individual who proclaimed that his hot and sour soup at Victoria Restaurant took too long since he "knows" that the soup is ready in the back. The waitress just merely needs to scoup it into his bowl. Hello moron, the soup is NOT ready in the back. Maybe at the diner you frequent or the "Manchu Wok" you eat at the food fair. But a classy restaurant like Victoria makes the soup fresh, since the veggies would be soggy otherwise. Oh and for the individual who complained that Posh Restaurant had only beef and pork for their all-u-can eat Sukiyaki... Dude, there is only beef in Sukiyaki! Getting pork is already a bonus! If you wanted seafood and other stuff, that's called at HOT POT and that's Chinese! So stop complaining! People! Don't talk smack if you don't even know the difference between a cocktail weiner and a roll of Mentos!

Vietnamese Playa

Monday, January 19, 2009

Joke of The Week

A city boy wanted to marry a country girl. She insists that he has to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So off he goes to their farm to ask her father.
"I want to marry your daughter."

"Well, my boy you will have to prove to me that you are a man worthy of my daughter."

"I'll do anything for my love," says the young man.

"You see that cow out in the pasture? Well, go screw it."

A little puzzled the boy says, "OK, anything for my love."

On his return of doing his deed, he asks, "Now can I marry your daughter?"

"Nope," says the father, "See that goat over yonder? Well, go screw it." Again the boy obliges.

A few minutes later he returns saying, "Now can I marry your daughter?"

"Nope. Not yet - just one more thing. See that pig in the sty? Well go do it, too." Once again he obliges and returns.

This time the farmer is amazed at seeing this boy doing these deeds just to marry his daughter. So the father finally tells the boy, "Now you can marry my daughter."

The boy replies, "Screw your daughter, how much you want for that pig?"

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Fun

Riddles

  1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
  2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
  3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
  4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
  5. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!







Answers
  1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?
  2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
  3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
  4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
  5. The letter E, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Mess with your mind without drugs

Boston.com lists a few things on how to mess with your perception without any drugs.



Now if you will excuse me, I need to get some ping pong balls and a radio.

Hack your brain

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Get it on

What's the deal with Nunchuks?

This is an awesome drawing of Seinfeld/Bruce Lee done by Brandon Bird.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Toys R Us Sign


Yep, you're going to save more than $0 on this item.


Being a Smart Consumer

You are shopping at Walmart and faced with the following prices for milk:

  • 2 gallons of milk for $5.00
  • 1 gallon of milk for $2.25
  • 1/2 a gallon of milk for $2.47

What would you do?

I would try to buy a bunch of 1 gallons on separate bills and try to return them at the 2 gallons for $5.00 price.

Walmart's Milk Pricing Strategy

Monday, January 12, 2009

Joke of The Week

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You Sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

Mr Mandela is getting a bit annoyed by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says, in the best Chinese accent ever, "You not Nissan Main Deala?"