Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Fun

Achievement Unlocked

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Definite List

Greg Rutter's Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something.

Link

Monday, February 23, 2009

Joke of the Week

One night in the bar, the owner is lamenting the fact that business is so quiet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. As he moans to some of the regulars a stranger, dressed in a tweed jacket and wearing glasses wanders over and says, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I'm a doctor at the lunatic asylum up the road and I'm trying to integrate some of the more sane individuals into the community. Why don't I bring some of my patients along, say next Tuesday? You'll have some customers and my patients will have a night out."

Well, the publican isn't sure but the thought of more paying customers on a quiet night appeals, so he agrees.

The following Tuesday the guy in the tweed jacket and glasses shows up with about ten lunatics. He says to the publican, "They might try to pay for their drinks in unusual ways, please just accept whatever they give you, put it all on a tab and I'll settle up at closing time."

The barman has a great time selling loads of drinks and encouraging the loonies to eat chips and peanuts. The loonies have a great time, getting drunk and paying for their drinks with empty Coke cans, banana peels, used tea bags and plastic shopping bags.

At closing time the barman adds up the bill and it comes to just over two hundred dollars! The guy with the glasses and the tweed jacket starts to organize the loonies ready to take them back to the asylum. Finally he comes over and asks for the bill. The publican, feeling that he's charged them rather a lot and feeling he should do his bit to help these poor unfortunate people gives him a discount.
"Let's call it $150," he says. The guy in the tweed jacket smiles and says, "That's fine. Have you got change for a garbage can?"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Oddities in the Subway


Here are 71 pictures caught of people in the subway. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the homeless man who was making a sandwich at the back of a NYC train to show here.




Monday, February 16, 2009

Joke of the Week

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electricity went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time..."

Monday, February 9, 2009

Joke of the Week

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along!" the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us too."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high!!"

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bruce's Balls

In case you did not get enough of it from the Super Bowl halftime show last night, here are Bruce Springsteen's balls coming right into your face:





Courtesy of Tirico Suave.

Joke of the Week

As men age, we end up seeing more and more of the Medical establishment, which nowadays, has more and more women in it. For example, my family doctor recently referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."