The Late Night Porno Rental

With the vast number of ways one can discreetly obtain porn (ie. Internet, cable tv, mail in dvd’s disguised in anonymous brown wrapping), it amazes me that people will still venture out at ungodly hours and rent dvd porn from their local late night video store. I mean we’ve all done it at one time or another but that was all before the proliferation of free porn available at our fingertips. Porn sharing has become commonplace amongst my peers just as taking sloppy seconds of that Shannon Tweed playboy was when we were kids. Think about the drama that goes into renting the new Up & Cummers Part 14. First you tell your significant other that you’ll just be gone for a few minutes to fetch some milk. Once the seed (I mean lie) is planted and you arrive at your destination, then comes a good half hour of circling before you decide to park about 14 blocks away. Once inside you pretend to be interested in the new releases only to make a bee line to the adults only section. You keep your head down, tell yourself to focus on the goal and make sure you don’t inadvertently grab some gay porn. At the checkout counter, you hope the cashier doesn’t think you’re an uber-perv as you fumble for your credit card, cash, loose change or whatever you need to pay and get the hell out of dodge. And the misery continues because the next day you still need to return the damn things. So the moral of the story is, before you consider venturing out late at night, save yourself the shame because pleasure is only a click away.