It's bad enough that we have to endure people riding your bumper while you're going 120 clicks in the fast lane but going down an escalator? What have rush hour commuters turned into in an effort to shave 5 minutes off their daily commute? As I was going down the escalator in the left lane (aka the fast lane) of the escalator this morning, this young petite girl was right on my tail. For some reason, it was strangely similar to being tailgated by a Mazda Miata. As I hurdled down the stairs two at time, warm bialy in one hand, a cup of Dean and Deluca in the other, worlds were definetely colliding. I think tomorrow morning I'm just gonna move my Chevy Suburban ass over to the right.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
La Lunch Bag
At the risk of sounding shallow and somewhat perverted, I will share with you one of my pet peeves. In the name of eco-friendliness, you don't see as many plastic bags used by the retailers anymore. Plastic bags are not entirely gone but just not as common. You see the paper bags being used now. Abercrombie, Banana Republic, Holt Renfrew, you know the bags with the string handles.
Well, I don't mind knowing that you shop at Holt or Abercrombie. An image may pop in my head of you in a suit or a hoodie. No big deal. What irks me are the La Senza bags. Sure when an attractive woman is carrying one, imagery is a good thing. I rather enjoy it (that's the pervy part). But when its a less than attractive woman carrying these bags, it's not pleasant imagery (that's the shallow part).
Yes, shop at La Senza. Carry your wares home, but it seems women love to re-use the La Senza bags to transport everyday items - their lunch, magazines or whatever. It just bothers me to, on more than a regular basis, have images of unattractive women in various states of undress.
I'm not saying I'm an attractive man but I don't think women would want me to advertise my fruit of the looms either.
These Two Dudes Have Mastered Their Katra
Kramer's got nothing on these guys!
"You follow your katra, and you can do anything." - Cosmo Kramer
Sweden and McDonald's and IKEA
I recently came across several postings with a Swedish theme today. The first one is a series of weird Swedish McDonald's commercials.
The second is an itinerary on catching the IKEA ferry in New York to the new IKEA in Red Hook, Brooklyn and finding a local taco stand.
Ikea Hack
Joke of the Week
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break... do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet - ate the cookies... drank the milk... shit on the paper... screwed the other three cats... claimed he injured his back while doing so... filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions... put in for Workers Compensation... and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!
Monday, May 19, 2008
KFC Original Recipe
So I'm chowing down on some KFC tonight and I wondered... What are the 11 herbs and spices in this chicken? Well here is the recipe:
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp oregano
1 tbsp celery salt
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tbsp dry mustard
4 tbsp paprika
2 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp ground ginger
3 tbsp MSG (Accent)
Okay, salt, thyme, basil... WAIT... WTF??? When has MSG become an herb or spice????
So if I go to a Chinese restaurant, MSG is an herb or spice? That would change things completely. If you ever look at a North American menu, you'd find things like Grilled Rosemary Lamb Chops, or Butter-Dill Poached Salmon. How about at a Chinese restaurant with this new found spice... Monosodium Glutamate Herbed Spareribs, MSG-Infused Shrimp Dumplings or Egg Drop Soup with Essence of MSG?
This is pathetic.
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