Ok, so I was walking around New York the other day, and I came across the Jerk Store. Naturally, I had to go in to see if they had any jerks in stock. Yes they did, and I bought one for $49.99! Here is the receipt:
Ok, this isn't a real receipt. You can make your own custom recipts at http://www.customreceipt.com/. You could also make your own road signs here too:
There are things that people continuously say at the office that gets on my nerves. Here are 50 of them gathered by Lucy Kellaway's campaign against office jargon:
50 office-speak phrases you love to hate
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.
"What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked.
"It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly.
"Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"
"No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion would blow out the match."
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Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy said "Me feet are freezing, will you nip upstairs and get my slippers for me?"
"No bother", said Murphy and goes upstairs. There he finds Paddy's stunning twin 19 year old daughters sitting on the bed.
"Hello girls", he said smiling, "Your Dad sent me up here to shag the pair of ye!"
"Feck off ya liar!" they replied.
"I'll prove it!" says Murphy, so he shouts down the stairs "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course! What's the use of fucking one?"
This is almost like Letters from a Nut, where a writer with too much time writes letters to various businesses with really absurd requests. The response from these businesses are hilarious.
In the Billy Letters, Bill Geerhart posing as a 10 year old boy writes to several serial killers like Charles Manson. The responses are a great read!
The Billy Letters
50 Cent has been asked to change his name to 79 Cent by a US fast food chain. The 'In Da Club' rapper was challenged by Taco Bell to consider calling himself 79, 89 or 99 Cent to promote the restaurant's new value menu. Taco Bell have promised to donate $10,174 to a charity of the rapper's choice if he also agrees to stop at one of their outlets and rap his order at the drive-thru.
The eatery will also treat all the customers at the star's chosen restaurant to free meals. Taco Bell President and CEO Greg Creed said in a letter to the singer: "We know that you adopted the name 50 Cent years ago as a metaphor for change. We at Taco Bell are also huge advocates for change. We encourage you to 'Think Outside the Bun' and hope you accept our offer."
50 - real name Curtis Jackson - previously showed his love for fast food during a tour of the UK last year. The hip-hop star reportedly gave a rider to each British concert venue he visited, requesting a KFC chicken bucket served to him on fine china.
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