Mathmaticious

A parody of the Fergie's "Fergalicious".



Does anyone think this guy looks like the MacLovin from Superbad?

Who Is Hideki Matsui's Wife?

New York Yankees player Hideki Matsui announced that he snuck off to New York yesterday to get married. Just who is this mystery woman, and is she a HOT baseball Wife?

Of course, the new wife of Hideki Matsui remains a mystery. We will, of course, update this page once we find out who she is. We do know that she is 25 years old, Japanese and is evidently anime. Matsui met the 25 year old cartoon after watching an old A-ha "Take on Me" video which she helped choreograph. Evidently cartoons don't age. Eat your heart out Jessica Rabbit!

Morning After Indeed - Canucks out of Playoffs

I had a friend in town recently. He’s from Vancouver but he’s now living in New York. “What’s wrong with the Canucks?” he says. “Look at the Wild. They’re consistently overachieving every year.”

Scouting aside but, scouting sucks. But now that I got started, don’t give me the “20 other teams passed on him too” argument. Over 30 some odd years, and countless draft picks, you’d think we’d have drafted a few superstars. How many bonafide superstars have the Canucks drafted? I’d say two. Bure and Neely. One they got on more of a technicality but I’ll give credit where credit is due. The other (Neely), they promptly traded away, but I digress.

So what is wrong with the Canucks (and to me, coincidentally the same answer to why does scouting suck)? We have zero tradition. Zero tradition from top to bottom. Ownership, GMs, Coaches and Captains. To answer my friend’s question, I responded, “Well, Minnie’s got Risebrough and Lemaire. As an expansion team, of course they didn’t have history or tradition. So what did they do? They borrow from probably the most storied franchise in hockey history – The Habs.”

Getting back to the Canucks though. Ownership, I can’t fault the Griffiths. They were truly involved and cared about the franchise. The Griffiths were a part of the community and owned the Canucks for years. Then along came Bruce McCaw. Where was he anyways? Did Mr. McCaw give a rat’s ass? If so, how did he show it? Well by selling the team. Today the Canucks are owned by Aquillini. Where’s the stability in all this? But we’ll wait and see with Aquillini.

Moving down the ranks to the GMs, I’d say the best GM the Canucks ever had was Pat Quinn. He drafted one of our best players ever – Bure. Quinn was the master of the trades. He built the franchise. Come on, Dan Quinn and Garth Butcher for Geoff Courtnall, Robert Dirk, Sergio Momesso and Cliff Ronning? Very nice. Any other GMs from the Canucks storied history comes to mind as a true builder of the team? Not to me.

Coaching. Who was a legendary coach? A mastermind that led his team into battle? I’d have to go with Roger Nielson and again, Quinn. Other than that its hits and miss with the coaches. Remember Laforge with Team Pride and Team Hustle? That was classic.

Oh Captain, My Captain…we got the likes of Smyl and Linden - our two great leaders. The problem I have with these two is they’re not tough enough, and some of you may take issue with that but I’m tired of seeing our leader (Trevor) turtle. I’m tired of seeing our leader (Smyl) a foot shorter than his fellow combatant. Your captain is beaten down or is turtling at the foot of your opposition. Not the most inspiring thing. What I hate most though is when Trevor and Naslund get in a scrum. By sheer obligation they have to grab someone. Of course they grab the least likely guy to get in a scrap. Even then, they never engage nor look at the other player. Look away but look concerned. Its like a solar eclipse out there. Can’t look directly at the sun but it sure is interesting so throw in some concern. It’s like someone stole their lunch money and they're watching the assailant flee. They don’t try and help their teammates out. They’re not vocal, nevermind physical. This is hockey. Not paddy cakes.

Anyways, like I says to my friend, “No tradition from top to bottom. No leadership from top to bottom.” Looking back at owners, GMs, coaches, captains and superstars, the only ones that stand out, from a league wide hall of fame perspective, are Quinn and maybe Bure. That’s it. Since 1970. That’s it. So, with the loss last night to the Oilers, sealing our playoff fate, I suppose, for another year all I can say is “that’s it”.

The Morning After

Ever had one of those nights where you got so loaded and could not remember what you did. Then you wake up in the morning....



Looks like another invention for Kramerica!

You're busting my balls!

The name of the game is "Ball Buster!" This was an actual commercial for this game from the 70's. We need to get this back onto the market!

Playing with the Pii

Girls, have you ever wished that you could pee standing up? Well, the Japanese have solved that problem for you. Strap on your Wii remote and insert the new game Super Pii Pii Brothers, and you have a virtual peeing game on your Wii. The game is very simple, strap on your Wii remote and pee into the toilet bowls, which have a sort of whack-a-mole type gameplay. Get too much pee on the floor and it is game over. Hmm, this could be a nice tool for potty training.

If the Super Pii Pii Brothers is out there, can you imagine the myriad of adult Wii games already available in Japan. I would not be surprise with all of the anime hentai Japanese games using the virtual remote on the Wii.

Girls' Names

For those of you who are expecting a baby girl or recently had a baby girl, did you find it difficult to pick a decent name for your baby? Any name you pick seems to sound like a stripper name. Names like Britney, Brianna, Pamela, Kylie, Tori, or Victoria all sound like a girl head-lining at the local strip bar . If you do find a name that does not sound like a stripper name, then it seems that the name sounds like one's great aunt. I would picture a very old aunt rocking in her rocking chair when given the name Agatha, Agnus, Bertha, or Helga. So stripper name or great aunt, what name are you leaning towards? Or maybe we should follow the Chinese and make up names like Samanfar or Smacker!