Buffet Etiquette

I recently visited a few traditional buffets and noticed that people are indeed morons. A buffet is no excuse to act like a neanderthal. It's all-you-can eat, not all-you-can-crude. Here are my oberservations:

1] If you do not cut into line at a store lineup waiting to pay for your purchase, do not cut into line to get that meatball.

2] Do not take a plate, touch it, inspect it and decide it's dirty and place it back on the plate stack in front of somebody.

3] Do not pick one-by-one, the best piece of rib in front of everyone.

4] Do not take all the shrimp when there is a lineup behind you.

5] Do not eat so much that you have to puke in the washroom for the next person to see.

6] Do not stare at the fat people.

7] For god's sake, tip the wait staff, they still clean up the crap that you leave behind.

8] Do not take a mound of food on 3 different plates, it's a buffet, there will be more food.

9] Do not secretly place food in your purse, it's against the rules and frankly it's disgusting.

10] Be polite, don't grunt like a caveman, even though you are gorging like one.

11] Don't complain about the food especially if the buffet costs you $10. What did you expect?

If we follow some general rules of the buffet, we would all be happier, if not fuller.

Good AYCE (All-you-can-eat) places

As we add to our ever-increasing waistlines, we always enjoy an AYCE place. You ask why AYCE? I ask why not? When one can go to any chain restaurant these days and drop $20 on a meal and you still need to add a beverage, it seems appealing to go to an AYCE place. Of course we're not talking about AYCE places like the Dragon Inn (God rest it's soul). Rather, we're talking about places that offer QUALITY and quantity.

There are the usual Chinese-run Japanese places such as Fish on Rice and Top Gun. Lunch and dinner are both good bets at roughly $12 and $20 respectively. Some locations of the Thai House offer a pretty good AYCE lunch on weekends for roughly $11. Samba Brazilian steak house offers a great AYCE rodizio for $13 lunch and $27 dinner ($30 weekends). For those fish n chip fans, Cockney Kings and C-Lovers offer all day AYCE with beverage for $9, M,T,W for Cockney Kings and Sundays for C-Lovers. If you like ribs, then you can't go wrong with Montana's AYCE ribs on Wednesdays for $20 (side ribs) and $25 (baby backs). Lastly, Shabusen offers AYCE Japanese Cuisine and Korean BBQ for $13 lunch and $23 dinner.

I'm not saying we should stuff our faces, but if we're going to spend $20 already, and you're feeling a tad hungry, why not go to a good AYCE? Last time I checked, I spent $26 at Earls on a steak and it was pathetically small. The side dish of 6 button mushrooms and a dollop of mash potatoes had me yearning for McD's afterwards. Therefore, AYCE seems like a real deal, assuming you don't end up at a place like China Kitchen; then you'll be better off eating nothing.