Thursday, March 27, 2008

Buffet Etiquette

I recently visited a few traditional buffets and noticed that people are indeed morons. A buffet is no excuse to act like a neanderthal. It's all-you-can eat, not all-you-can-crude. Here are my oberservations:

1] If you do not cut into line at a store lineup waiting to pay for your purchase, do not cut into line to get that meatball.

2] Do not take a plate, touch it, inspect it and decide it's dirty and place it back on the plate stack in front of somebody.

3] Do not pick one-by-one, the best piece of rib in front of everyone.

4] Do not take all the shrimp when there is a lineup behind you.

5] Do not eat so much that you have to puke in the washroom for the next person to see.

6] Do not stare at the fat people.

7] For god's sake, tip the wait staff, they still clean up the crap that you leave behind.

8] Do not take a mound of food on 3 different plates, it's a buffet, there will be more food.

9] Do not secretly place food in your purse, it's against the rules and frankly it's disgusting.

10] Be polite, don't grunt like a caveman, even though you are gorging like one.

11] Don't complain about the food especially if the buffet costs you $10. What did you expect?

If we follow some general rules of the buffet, we would all be happier, if not fuller.

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