The Sarah Palin Show

Tonight's the VP debate, otherwise known as the Sarah Palin show.

Remember to have your Sarah Palin bingo cards ready when you are watching:

Sarah Palin Bingo Cards

Don't Vote

Jonah Hill just steals this entire PSA.

National Do Not Call Day

The Canadian National Do Not Call list takes into effect today. You can call 1-866-580-3625 or log on to http://www.LNNTE-DNCL.gc.ca and follow a few easy steps to be on the list. This should stop most of those telemarketers who interrupt you during dinner.

Otherwise, continue pranking the telemarketers like Tom Mabe:

Joke of the Week

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, right on his twitchy little nose.

"Oh please excuse me," said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"

The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?"

The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls... You must be a POLITICIAN."

They're not all Twix

Take on the George Costanza Candy Identification Quiz:

Link

Friday Fun

Program your robot to move a bunch of steps to light up the blue boxes.

Light Bot

How to Grow Grass

If your co-worker is going on a 2 week vacation, try this prank. Growing grass in his keyboard.

The Beginnings of an Invention

Napkin sketches are where great ideas begin. Here are a few great ideas ready to launch with a few tweaks.

The Pizza Fax

Napkin Sketches

Joke of the Week

Three Labrador Retrievers -one brown, one yellow and one black- were sitting in the vet's waiting room when they struck up conversation.

The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?". The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I go on everything - the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I went in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the brown lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?". The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts, too." The dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, mailboxes, whatever. I want to do everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?" The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

Friday Fun

Testing your 8 bit knowledge. How well do you know your classic video game sounds.

Name that Game

Bring Breast Awareness Back to the Workplace

National Do Not Eat List

In honour of the upcoming National Do Not Call List coming into effect on September 30, 2008 here in Canada; and in my stomache's protest to the restaurant I just frequented, I gotta say, we need a National Do Not Eat List.

What is a working man to do for lunch these days? I feel like sushi but what they have downtown, for the working crowd is just gross. Sushi has been bastardized by all you can eats and these little lunch combos offered up by every Asian nationality.

I keep boycotted them and moving on to others. They just continue to disappoint. So I'm going to start (hopefully, you'll follow), the National Do Not Eat List:

- Ichiban-Ya restaurant on Thurlow and Robson, Vancouver BC. Fish was gross and I'm trying to wash away the taste but my tea tastes like soap. Sushi should be pleasant, healthy...foul fish and soapy water - Bam! National Do Not Eat List.

Please feel free to add on the comments section!

Maximum Pads

EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

Joke of the Week

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!" I don't remember much after that"...

Latest Microsoft ad with Jerry and Bill

Friday Fun

For those people who love to pop those packing bubbles, try this one out. You have to stop ballons from going across the screen. Each time you pop a bloon, you get that satisfying popping sound.

Bloons Tower Defense 3

Public Service Announcement

How not to play the Wii

World Name Profiler

Find out where your surname comes from. Here are a few examples:

Costanza - Italian
Seinfeld - Jewish
Kramer - Jewish
Benes - Polish

Sadly, there is no information for Vandelay.

World Name Profiler

Joke of the Week

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realised he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up finishing all eighteen.

He finished his round shooting a personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, and then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.

He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?"

Jerry Seinfeld & Bill Gates Ad

Friday Fun

Pretend to look like you are hard at work typing while you play this typing race game.

Type Racer

Doing the Opposite

George Costanza's life advice to do the opposite actually has a real medical term, paradoxical intention. Doing the opposite of you what you intend to do will result in good things.

The George Costanza Lifehack for Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

24 hours in New York

A guy's 24 hours trip in New York using pictures taken from his iPhone.


[A 24 Hour Trip to New York] from M. Ward on Vimeo.

Grumf Sings Barry White

Skytrain Etiquette

Now that it is back to school time, here are a few Skytrain etiquette reminders:

• Take off your backpack
• Move to the back of the platform instead of lingering around the stairways to ease up on overcrowding on the platform
• and of course, personal hygiene.

Automatic Movie Pitching Machine

Try the movie pitching machine to creat titles of your favorite movies. Here are a few examples:

• Earth Girls are The Big Easy
• My Best Friends Wedding Cousin Vinny
  

I Apocalypse Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Joke of the Week

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"


Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.


Principal: "What is 3 x 3?".


Harry: "9".


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36".


And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and teacher, "I think Harry can go to the third grade."


The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"


Harry, after a moment, "Legs."


Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"


The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Pockets."


Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"


Harry: "Pants"


Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of hot excitement?"


Harry: "Fire truck"


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth grade. Hell, I missed the last four questions myself."

Friday Fun

Calling all engineers. Test your skills by building a moving object reach its destination:

Fantastic Contraption

Bankers vs Consultants

Damn it feels good to be a banker.

Rude Rainbow with Zippy

British kids show with some innuendos.

Meet the Torrances

Kirk Demarais created a bunch of movie family paintings as part of the Crazy 4 Cult art show. For more of his other works, you can check them out here.

Things to do with leftover coffee grounds

Don't throw out that leftover coffee grounds. There are plenty of other uses for them. Like using the grounds as a skin exfoliant, deodorizer, and hair shine solution. It is the natural WD-40. Here are some more uses:

11 Good Reasons Why Coffee Grounds are Worth Keeping

Joke of the Week

A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.

The little boy asks, "Can I have a beer Grandpa?"

Grandpa replies, "Can your pecker touch your ass?"

The little boy answered, "No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker."

Gramps says, "Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asks, "Can I have a cigar Grandpa?"

Once again, Grandpa asks, "Can your pecker touch your ass?"

Once again the little boy replies, "No, it's too little."

Gramps replies, "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar".

A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some cookies. Grandpa asks, "Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?"

The boy asks, "Can your pecker touch your ass?"

Gramps replies, "Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass."

The little boy replies, "Then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these for me."

Friday Fun

Put your spatial perception into perspective with this 3d puzzle game. Assemble as many images from an abstract cloud as you can before time runs out.

Coign of Vantage

Celebrity Endorsements

Apple ad with a young Jerry Seinfeld




HP ad with Jerry Seinfeld



Other Celebrity Endorsements

Unbelievable Medical Conditions

A woman who orgasms 200 times a day, a man who cannot get fat, a girl who only eats tic tacs. Unbelievable medical oddities, but does not compare to randomly twitching arm movements. Nevertheless, here are these other stories:

10 People with Unbelievable Medical Conditions

Easy Butter Dispenser

I have been searching everywhere to find a butter dispenser, and this is exactly what I am looking for. The one click butter cutter.

What am I going to be using this for, you may ask? To dispense as a sun tan lotion, of course!

Joke of the Week

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he left the bar some time later, he realized that his horse had been stolen.

The cowboy rushed back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking, and then fired a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I did back in Texas. And let me tell you, I don't wanna have to do what I did back in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The cowboy had another beer then walked outside to find his horse was back. So, he saddled up and prepared to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and said, "Say partner, what happened in Texas anyway?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"

Sumo Coffee Table

When I start working on my coffee table book about coffee tables, this sumo wrestler coffee table is going to be on the cover.

Basho the Sumo Wrestler

Friday Fun at the Office

Here are a few things to try out for an afternoon of fun and pranks at the office:

Friday Fun

Switch is a simple puzzle game that requires you to collect balls. You must collect the same colour, or you will lose all your balls, and your life. When you are done collecting one color, click the mouse to switch colors.

Switch

Buttock Enlarging Cream

Is this what Jennifer Lopez has been using all this time? Or maybe it is the secret Kim Kardashian ever grown behind.

Seinfeld hits the road

The Seinfeld Campus Tour sets out on its 26 city, 10,000 mile tour making stops at college campuses and various other outlets.

Seinfeld Campus Tour

Cold Cuts Quiz

Put a Jackie Davis record on, wear your butcher's coat, and start up the slicer. Now test your knowledge of cold cuts:

Cold Cuts Quiz

70 creative business cards

Here is a bunch of amazingly creative business cards.

70 Amazing Business Cards

I still like the one Patrick Bateman has in American Psycho.

Testing your accents

Test to see if you can recognize where someone's accent is from:

Can you guess where I'm from?

The GoateeSaver

The GoateeSaver helps you get the perfect goatee. Put the GoateeSaver on your face, bite down on the mouth piece, make adjustments, and shave around it.

The GoateeSaver

Joke of the Week

Two Jewish men, Morrey and Eli were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. Morrey asked Eli, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in China?"

Eli replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter came by, Eli asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know, I'll ask the cooks."

He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said "No sir, no Chinese Jews."

Eli wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"

The waiter, realizing he was dealing with Gwai Lo's gave the expected answer, "I will check again," and went back into the kitchen.

While the waiter was away, Morrey said, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

The waiter returned and said, "The head cook said there is no Chinese Jews."

"Are you certain?" Morrey asked once again, "I can't believe there are no Chinese Jews!"

"I ask everyone," replied the exasperated waiter. "All we have is orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews."

Friday Fun